I’ve been pushed aside by my own peers, bullied, picked on and tormented for no reason at all, so now I roam the streets alone, like a lost and lonely soul.
The cowardly acts and repetition of words, eventually get into my head, and it all starts to make sense for some reason. It becomes a painful reality, doubting myself, my existence, wondering what is going to become of me.
What is the meaning of life, I start thinking to myself as I take my last breaths, and a million things run through my mind, all while my life flashes before my eyes. “Why are people so cruel”, I can say that I’ve made my fair share of bad choices and mistakes, but am I really that different.
Is there anything I could’ve changed or done differently, in this inevitable truth that I’m in, cause I’m like a ghost now. It’s like I don’t exist at all, cause even when people make eye contact they avoid me, going around me like I’m crazy, disfigured or have a contagious disease.
I look and stare into the mirror, searching from head to toes, inch by inch for any signs or defects on me. I don’t see any, so I start drowning my sorrows and pain away, on anything that I can get my hands on.
Cut and frayed I’ve been hanging on by a thread, and it’s ready to break at any moment, sadly not a single person seems to care.
Living life on the edge, I’ve been in and out of trouble, playing with fire and knowing that I’m going to get burnt. I can smell it in the air, it’s only a matter of time, cause I feel the ground shaking, and it’s caving in right under my feet.
Anxious, nervous, and depressed, I take comfort in my room, and it becomes my refuge, caged in eventually I feel like I’m going crazy.
My thoughts start to dominate me, I’m losing control of my mind, and my thinking is all out of wack. They keep telling me it’s all in my head, to stop making things up, to see a doc, and take my pills, if only they knew.
The walls start closing in, a frightening feeling looms in the room, everything turns a dismal pitch black, and darkness becomes my friend.
I see the valley of death in my sight, and my worst fears are coming to a head, as the saint of death walks in my shadow. I stand alone but who knows for how long, so I’ve got my finger on the trigger cause I’m hearing footsteps thumping and closing in behind me.
My vision is blurry and the voice is calling out my name, I’ve got one foot in the door and a candle lights up the room, my name is next in line but not written in stone yet.
There is a cross hanging around my neck, I’m sending out an S.O.S. “someone, somebody please come to my rescue”. The pain is to much to bear, is there anybody out there, anybody willing to save a lost and lonely soul.
Ricardo R Gonzalez